Now he wasgoing to be gone! I'd wake up all alone in my house for the first time,knowing that, for the next three years, I wouldn't see him or even talkto him again. I was an emotional wreck and I didn't know how to getmyself out of the blue funk I was in.Oh, there were thoughts about what I'd like to do. Some of them werethoughts I never dreamed of having. Thoughts like taking Eric back tomy bedroom and showing him how much I appreciated all he'd done for me.Thoughts of showing him how much I'd miss him. Thoughts I would NEVERhave had as Jimmy, that's for sure! Yet, every time those thoughtswould make themselves known to me, they were overridden by the thoughtthat it wouldn't be right. It would be "gay" or something like that.Stupid thoughts, I know, but there they were. I hadn't crossed thethreshold between Jimmy and Holly yet and the battle between the twopeople was wearing me out.I WANTED Eric! I needed him, but I couldn't bring myself to take thatfinal step of actually HAVING. She even took Martin to bed several times a week although he usually had to wait while Renee finished with her "catch of the day". Twice she had taken three women to bed with her at once and often brought in the Labrador for her companions to provide her with a little extracurricular entertainment.Since she had become a recluse during the six months of waiting for the Luaki to mature, not even her doctors were aware of how far the disease had progressed before she initiated the "renewal" with Emily. Even so, her doctors were amazed, not only that the disease had completely disappeared, but that she exhibited such an overall excellent state of health. She was young, she was healthy, she was vibrant and she was reveling in such a state of debauchery that even Martin was becoming concerned that the sheer number of women which Renee was bedding, was causing talk. He talked with her on numerous occasions, but despite her reassurances that she was being discreet, the endless parade of.
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